lacewood: (melancholy)
Pei Yi ([personal profile] lacewood) wrote in [community profile] toxicskyremix2004-05-16 03:36 pm
Entry tags:

robin hobb - name

Yes, I know Robin Hobb doesn't approve of fanfic. This was written as a gift for a friend and Robin Hobb has full permission to kick me in the kneecaps should she ever read this/meet me in the street, since I agree that this is extremely terrible and deeply embarrassing.

For [livejournal.com profile] aefallen

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I do not know how long I sat before the fire, staring into the flickering flames, after he left. Too long, I imagine.

Fool.

For in the end, it seems, that is all I have ever been. Did it take but one word, one name, for me to be so nearly undone?

Fool.

She would laugh if she saw me now, I think. Is it not terribly apt, after all, that a Prophet should love his Catalyst? For without a Catalyst, he would have no tale to tell, no world to change, he would... cease to be.

I wonder, who is Her Catalyst to her? Puppet? Pawn? Nothing more?

Surely She would not be weak. So... foolish.

I close my eyes and see the futures unfurl before me again. Nothing has changed. Nothing can change. The threads are weaving, the Wheel is turning, the path is already set. Whose vision will it be, The White Woman's or mine?

Only time will show.

Only death will show.

Fitz told Chade everything, I am sure. Lord Golden was not asked to join the entourage that will make their way to the islands; it might not even be easy for me to leave Buckkeep.

He meant well.

But it is too late. Whichever way the Wheel turns... I will die.

Perhaps if I tell myself that often enough, I will cease to fear it. I have seen Fitz die so many times already - surely it will be a nice change, for once, to know that he will be... safe. Or at least, not dead.

At least I go to my death with more warning than I ever gave him about his.

The fire burns low; I have spent too long in this daze. Rising from my chair, I turn, without thinking, to the door - as if I would see his shadow there still, closing it behind him.

I turn for my chamber, leave the firelit room behind me.

And still I hear...

Beloved.

Fool that I am.

end

October 2003